• Neil G

A Simple Trick To Smoothly Join In A Group At A Social Function

So, I’m back from my vacation, well rested. Whilst I successfully refrained from any writing, I must confess to a few thoughts and ideas coming to me.

It occurred to me that holidays can be great opportunities to meet new people, generally people are open and relaxed and there’s a social atmosphere.

But some of us still find it difficult to open a conversation with a stranger. There can be many reasons for that, including fear and anxiety of rejection, running out of things to say, offending or disturbing someone, or several others.

I’m going to talk about social skills in the coming months, and include a number of tips to help you if you have ever had these feelings.

Here’s one to start off.

Use this quick tip boost your confidence in many social situations.

Arriving at a social event and getting involved in groups and conversations can be quite intimidating for some of us. For many people it's not a problem, they seem to be natural at it and it's effortless. And while for a few it is natural, there's a good chance that most of them have to work at it...

Very often, having a strategy to follow can help overcome the fear of rejection or awkwardness that stops us from making our move.

Let's say you arrive at a social event, maybe a bar, or a party, or networking event, formal or informal. There's four people gathered tightly and deep in conversation, maybe you know them well or not so well, doesn't matter. You can and should use this with both.

Firstly, there's no reason you shouldn't join the group, it's a social event, right?

So the technique here is to quickly observe who is talking, or doing most of the talking, and approach the group from the opposite side, so the speaker can see that you are there.

Then you are able to make eye contact, say excuse me or hello, the speaker will stop and the group will open up to let you in.

You can then invite the speaker to continue. And voila, you are in.

The key point is that the speaker is in charge of the social dynamic at that point, so you need to get that person's attention in order to avoid being left hanging on the outside. It’s likely that other listeners in the group will not want to interrupt the speaker to bring you in.

Social dynamics is a deep and complex topic, and fascinating to observe and be a part of. If you want to discuss more about this kind of scenario or any others, leave a comment below or contact me directly at bestmatedublin@gmail.com or via the website.


#social #behaviour

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