• Neil G

Let Go Of The Outcome


Here's another perspective on trusting the process, and how it leads to ... well, just feeling better about everything.

A reminder, a key aspect of trusting the process is not being outcome dependent. If you have a good process, the outcome will take care of itself. Your good process has maximised your chance of success, of a favourable outcome.

So the key element here is the FEELING that you have when you've executed your process well. That feeling might be relief, or even euphoria, or relaxation. Whatever it's a great feeling.

And it's not dependent on the outcome. Here are some examples:

  • a golfer hitting a solid shot; it might hit the middle of the fairway, it might take a bad bounce into a bunker, or hold up just short of the green, but the feeling of a well hit shot, that's always there

  • a poker player going 'all-in' before the 'flop' (final 3 cards dealt), all the observations have been done, the other players analysed, the odds calculated, it's the right move; the cards might fall for him/her or against, but it was the right play, and it feels good

  • a candidate submitting their application for a job; the decisions have been made, the application written, the CV fine-tuned and focussed, and you've done everything you can, it's now in the hands of the panel, there's a relief and release of tension knowing that you've done your part, followed your process; now just sit back and wait

  • a young lad gets the courage to ask the girl at the library out on a date, he's walked up to her, said hello, asked the question; she might say yes, she might say no, but the feeling of actually finding that courage to ask can be euphoric (trust me...)

OK, so these are just four examples, but I want to illustrate an important point.

If you can let go of the outcome, focus only on the process, two things happen...

Firstly, you will execute your process to the best of your abilities. By definition, if you focus only on the process, you will give it everything...

Secondly, just as importantly, you will accept the outcome as it arises, knowing you did your best: your golf ball takes a hard bounce and flies past the flag and off the back of the green; the 'flop' deals two 5s and your pair of aces is beaten; you are narrowly beaten to the job by a candidate with 5 years more experience that you; the girl would love to go out but already has a boyfriend.

All the outcomes I described above are undesirable, and also very possible, so that you have to deal with them, or similar, at some point.

If you know you did your best, or even actually did anything at all, took some action, then those bad outcomes will be easy to accept, and you can still feel good about yourself. How great is it when you can still feel good when you don't get the results you want? It's really amazing.

And here's the best thing of all...if you keep on in this way, letting go of the outcome and just doing your best every time, you WILL get better, and you WILL start to get the results that you want. I've seen it happen, and it's happened to me. It can happen to you to.

I'd love to hear what you think about this, it's something I believe in and I'm excited to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the concept.

So please comment below, who will start the debate...?

Neil

#golf #positivity #mindset #goals #behaviour #process #success

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