How To Break Those Self-fulfilling Prophecies
Psychologists and coaches all agree on this...our beliefs become our reality.
What goes on inside our head serves to form our outside world, and it happens on a conscious and subconscious level.
Let's take a classic for example..."I'm no good at giving a speech/making a presentation/speaking up at meetings". You may or may not recognise yourself in that, but read on anyway, the principle is universal.
Not so much a self-fulfilling prophecy but a self-fulfilled reality. We pass up the opprtunity to present at the company conference, or even to volunteer a great idea at a team meeting, because our belief tells us it will do us more harm than good.
This was one of mine (I had many, I still have a few...): I'll never be a runner, I don't have the body for it...short legs, round belly, it's not for me. That was 18 months ago. What a load of c**p! Since then I've run over 1200 kilometers, that's around 15 k every week on average*. That's not the behaviour of someone who'll never be a runner.
Now, I won't go into the reasons that made me change my belief, they're kind of personal, but the point is that I did it. And it started with the tiniest thought..."maybe I should try running". That was the moment when I challenged my original belief (held for over 30 years, by the way) and it crumbled under the smallest pressure.
So what about a change in belief for all of you who can never speak in public? How about this? "I can learn to become a good, or even great, public speaker if I practice, take opportunities that come along and deliver my best each time. And if I do this, that major barrier to my career advancement will disappear."
Now, there's a positive belief that will drive you forward, not hold you back. There's even a payback at the end.
A coach will work with you to identify the beliefs that are holding you back, challenge them with you, help you to change them into positive beliefs, and then support you as you move into your new reality. It's one of my specialties and the clients I work with see the living proof that it can work right in front of them.
Challenging, then changing, your beliefs, is a process, a journey, and it can/will take time, with some pitfalls and pain along the way. That's where the support of a coach comes in, guiding you on your process and reminding you of your amazing destination, no longer beyond your reach.