• Neil G

Two everyday words to cut out of your vocabulary

It might seem a bit extreme to ask you to take two common words, that many people use so frequently, and eliminate them from your usage. But there’s a good reason, so read on.

The two words are: “always" and “never".

First off, let’s realise that these words imply absolutes, black and white. And the real world is not like that. Almost never!

So by using these words to describe things, you are setting yourself up to perhaps look foolish, or make a costly mistake.

"I'm never late for meetings”, you say to your [hopefully] future boss the day before the interview. And then your car breaks down on the way. Instead, saying “I pride myself on my punctuality” gives you a way out when the world conspires against you..

People use these words because they want certainty, and rules. Like a framework to operate within. As children we were brought up with “never" and “always" rules.

“Never talk to strangers"

“Always raise your hand before speaking"

And as children we assume they are right, because some higher authority created those rules. And as children those rules helped us by giving us that framework, so we could make choices in the face of complex situtions.

But as we grow up, we become adults, we start to realise that parents and teachers are not the ultimate authority we thought they were, they are just normal people like the rest of us.

We have to now trust and rely on ourselves, so if we still depend on these rules to keep us safe, its an easy/safe option, which can lead us astray and to miss opportunities.

It also leaves us with a closed mindset, often seeing the world as black and white rather than the shades of grey which are present most of the time.

So, next time you catch yourself arriving at the pub saying, “I ALWAYS get the first round in”, just step back, relax those chains and let one of your mates do the honours. The beer will taste just as good.

Which are your favourite “always” and “never” mantras. How can you challenge them and change your view of the world. Share in the comments below.

#values #mindset #habits

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