• Neil G

The Power Of Withholding Judgement


One of the first principles I learned at "Coach School" was the importance of being non-judgemental. It's a key skill you need to be a life coach, or any kind of coach.

This is a difficult skill to master. It's our natural tendency, when meeting people and discovering things about them, to build a story around how they came to be and then to form our own opinion about it. And there are a number of problems with this. Here are a couple.
Firstly, the stories that we build are at best incomplete, and at worst can be completely inaccurate. We make assumptions that can be way off the mark (e.g. that guy's not smiling so he must be a grumpy so-and-so).
And secondly, once we have formed our opinion, we tend to close off and it's difficult to change that story (remember 'first impressions last'?)
So, refraining from building a story in our head, forming an opinion and judging people on first look, allows us to remain open, ask good questions and LISTEN to the answers. And so we discover more relevant information, and find the real story.
And as a coach, we still don't judge, because we still don't know what else is there to discover.
Being non-judgemental makes you very easy to talk to, it's amazing how easily people will open up to you in unexpected situations. It's enabled me to find out so much more about the people around me, and help me appreciate them so much more.
So, next time you meet someone, give it a try. Withhold judgement, ask questions, listen to the answers and see what happens!
And if you'd like to find out how amazing it feels to talk to someone who isn't judging you, click here to contact me...

#coaching #mindset #relationships

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